


True Love Isn't Real

by Impala_Cherry_Trickster



Series: Merlin Prompts [54]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Canon Era, Curses, F/F, Female Merlin (Merlin), First Kiss, Good Morgana (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Internalized Homophobia, Protective Knights (Merlin), True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:01:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25462096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impala_Cherry_Trickster/pseuds/Impala_Cherry_Trickster
Summary: When the Lady Vivian comes to Camelot, it just means more problems for Merlin
Relationships: Merlin/Vivian (Merlin)
Series: Merlin Prompts [54]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1706692
Comments: 12
Kudos: 138





	True Love Isn't Real

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt for Weirdhead498, I really got excited with this one, sorry!

Merlin hated visiting nobles. It meant more work for her, it meant more people staring at her and judging her for the way she dressed, the way she spoke. It meant Arthur drawing away from her, just because it was not natural for a King to treat his manservant like a man, when he was in fact a she. Merlin knew her position was a weird one, that she had to act and serve like any man would. Still, it made it easier to hide lies by acting as someone she wasn’t.

Gwen had figured it out first, pointing out that Merlin’s gaze stayed on Lady Morgana for slightly too long. She’d blushed, ducked her head and told Gwen that she had no idea what she was talking about. In truth, the Lady Morgana was stunning, but she was happy that the Lady had found Sir Lancelot. Just as she was glad that Guinevere and Arthur were courting.

She continued to scrub at the floor that was currently her focus, wondering why the Lady Vivian was coming to Camelot. It had been a weird request, a letter arriving that stated she required King Arthur’s help, and the assistance of his sister. Lady Morgana had been surprised as well, although it was well known that she had Magic, it was not often that people mentioned it. Especially considering the ban on Magic was still being repealed.

‘Merlin, you’ve been scrubbing that stone for a while now.’ Sefa teased, Gwen’s maidservant. Despite not quite being Queen yet, Sefa still served her. The girl was nice, barely an adult, and Merlin had taken the girl under her wing, teaching her how to survive in Camelot. She was, perhaps, the only other person that had figured Merlin’s attention only strayed in one direction.

‘Shut it, Sefa.’ She shot back, but it was gentle. The girl paused, abandoning the brush she was using as she sat back.

‘Is it about the Lady Vivian?’ In truth, it was. A visiting noble, a Lady that was bound to be stunning. It just reminded Merlin of what she couldn’t have.

‘Do you think I was made like this on purpose?’ Sefa’s expression turned sympathetic, a rough hand coming to rest over hers. The two stayed in silence for a moment, solidarity, until the bell rung to inform them that Camelot’s Visitors had arrived.

**

‘Forgive me, but are you sure it’s a curse?’ Arthur questioned, the Lady Vivian standing straighter and rolling her eyes.

‘No, all men just happen to turn into slimy creatures.’ She had a sharp-tongue, drew eyes all over the Court. The prettiest blonde hair, bright eyes that wandered over the Court, bored easily. Used to being treated like the most precious thing in the whole of Albion.

‘And the Sorcerer said a true-love’s kiss would break the enchantment?’ Morgana asked, her gaze drifting in her direction. Merlin wondered how such a thing was possible, to dictate that the Lady Vivian would leave all her suitors as toads if they were not her true-love.

Her story seemed far-fetched. That she was cursed, that wherever she went, bad omens would follow. Awful luck. People accidentally tripping and breaking bones, Wells that dried up, grain that turned to sand. That the only way to break her enchantment was a true love’s kiss, which she had been trying to find (Merlin didn’t want to think about how), but if they were not the right person, then they turned into a toad.

Entertaining, but also ridiculously complicated to craft.

‘Yes. Obviously I didn’t want this to become…’ She paused, eyeing up the Round Table Knights, the Guards at the door, and then the royals. She didn’t even bother looking at Merlin.

‘Common knowledge. But my Father banished me from my Kingdom until I’ve broken the curse, and I hoped that you would assist me.’ Her tone left no room for that to be negotiable, and Arthur turned to look at Morgana.

‘That’s awfully complicated. How would anybody even go about such a spell?’ Morgana turned to her, and Merlin hesitated. Although the King knew she had Magic, as did the others in the room, it was a lot less accepted than Morgana’s. Still, Arthur didn’t look mad, so Merlin voiced her thoughts.

‘It’s got multiple clauses, steps that have to be completed. I could break it down, but it would take months…’ Vivian sighed, looking over her like she couldn’t care less.

‘I thought you were supposed to be an accomplished Sorceress.’ Back to Morgana, Merlin completely skipped. The Witch bit her tongue, bowed her head in submission.

‘We will attempt to help you, Lady Vivian. But are you sure that what you’ve told us is…’ Vivian cut Morgana off by turning, walking to the Guard on the door, and gripping his armour. The man looked startled, but Vivian just leant in and kissed his lips briefly.

One moment, there was a Guard standing in the doorway. The next, a pile of armour, and a croaked sound from the pile of clothes. Vivian turned back to them, while the other Guard broke formation to pull the armour away, revealing a toad.

‘Merlin, see Lady Vivian to her Chambers, then start working on breaking the enchantment with Morgana.’ She inclined her head to the King, scampered down the steps towards the Lady.

**

‘Merlin, wait.’ She paused on the threshold, turning back to the Princess. She had ignored her for the walk, moved into her Chambers and had walked straight to the dressing table. Merlin had lit the fire, straightened the bed and moved her stuff into the wardrobe, before deciding to excuse herself. Until the Princess called for her, and she looked back.

‘I am sorry for snapping earlier. I thank you, for attempting to break my curse.’ It was a strange change from the harsh woman she met earlier, but not an unwelcome one.

‘It is no trouble, milady.’ She bowed, then wished she hadn't. Not many nobles, especially not the ladies, were fond of her when she did that. She was supposed to curtsey, despite the fact she was wearing trousers.

Vivian’s attention had already moved on, so Merlin could excuse herself.

**

‘She’s got a foul tongue.’ Sefa muttered, Merlin agreeing. Lady Vivian was shouting, cheeks flushed and her hair in a mess, glaring at the Knight that had made the mistake of suggesting she had been cursed for a reason.

‘Lady Vivian, Sir Peter meant no offence…’

‘No offence? He spoke out of term.’ She stated, back straightening. The Knight kept his head bowed, while the King sighed.

‘He’ll be punished tomorrow, I assure you.’ That seemed to satisfy her, and she took a step back. The Knight practically scampered from her sight, while the Lady looked to the table that had been set for dinner. The Round Table Knights, Gwen, Morgana and Arthur. She moved to her seat, and Merlin moved to fill her goblet.

The Lady Vivian did not talk much that evening. She simply stayed still, which surprised Merlin, and she noticed that half-way through the woman looked awfully queasy. She moved to her side to top up the goblet, only to see what had changed her mood.

The food on her plate was mouldy. Green fur, black spots across the meat and vegetables. Everyone else continued chattering, too engrossed in the tale that Sir Gwaine was recounting to note that the Lady Vivian looked ill.

Merlin bent to fill the jug, before whispering,

‘The curse?’ A slight nod of her head, and so Merlin let her Magic work. It cleared the plate entirely, before filling it afresh. The Lady startled, but Merlin just stepped back.

Cursed with bad luck. She had not believed it, not till she had seen it.

**

‘I could have Sefa assist you…’ Arthur began, after Lady Vivian tried to excuse herself. It was clear that Sir Gwaine’s flirting had gotten to be too much, that she wanted nothing more than to leave. Merlin had kept an eye on her plate, to make sure that no more mould appeared, but she imagined the girl had lost her appetite.

‘I would prefer your manservant, my Lord.’ She cut in, and Merlin almost dropped the jug.

She couldn’t serve the Lady Vivian.

Arthur and the Knights looked startled, almost like they had forgotten she was a woman. Lady Vivian didn’t wait for an answer, rose from her chair and walked towards the door without hesitation.

Merlin bowed her head to the King, before scurrying after her, handing the jug to Sefa as she left.

It was only once they had reached Lady Vivian’s Chambers that the woman turned, looking at Merlin with confusion.

‘Why did you help me?’ Had she really lived for this curse for two years? Merlin could see the pain in her eyes, and for the smallest of moments, she let herself believe that the woman might want to be her friend.

‘Because you were in pain.’ She admitted, the Princess startling. She regarded Merlin for a long couple of seconds, before dismissing her.

How lonely it had to be, to live a life where she was so fearful of the curse.

**

Morning brought with it Arthur refusing to get out of bed, and Merlin dragging her Master by his overly large arms to the cold floor. The King protested, to which she hit him with a pillow, and that finally got him up. She chose a simple shirt and breeches for the day, moving to dress him like usual. Arthur chewed on the piece of bacon he was eating while reading the report Morgana had brought him on the curse.

‘You think we should travel to the Temple of Edderia to see if it holds the answers?’ It had been Gaius’s suggestion, a Temple dedicated to a powerful Sorceress who was said to have enchanted all sorts of love curses. Merlin hadn't been too keen, but Morgana had thought it a good idea.

‘Taking the Lady Vivian on a Hunt would be…’ She trailed off, not needing to explain. Arthur nodded thoughtfully, put down the report.

‘If we have no progress by the end of the week, then we shall have to.’ Merlin grumbled, finally managed to get the King’s clothes on and stepped away to sort out his room.

**

It settled into a pattern, Lady Vivian terrorising the people of Camelot and everyone being fearful of her. During the days, Merlin worked with Morgana to try and break the curse. She continued her duties with Arthur, although George took over what she couldn’t. Sefa had tried to assist Lady Vivian, only to be kicked from the room.

The only change that Merlin could see was that she would try and assist the Princess whenever possible. When her dress ripped by itself, her Magic pieced it back together. When she was flirting with one of the Knights by the training grounds, and an arrow suddenly went flying towards one of the younger trainees, Merlin halted it with Magic.

When she tried to climb the stairs to her Chambers and all the flowers in her path died, Merlin replaced them.

Every bit of bad luck, she worked to undo. For the most part, Lady Vivian regarded her curiously. But, by her fifth day, there was a nod of acceptance whenever Merlin tried to help her.

Until Merlin was walking with her towards her Chambers, only to hear some Knights joking about her.

‘If she didn’t turn all men to toads, I’d have a go with her.’

‘She’s got one hell of a mouth.’ The second agreed, and Merlin slowly turned to look at the Princess.

‘Not much good though, cursed and all.’

‘Maybe it was a punishment for her bratty mouth.’ Merlin was almost ready to go and scold them, but Lady Vivian calmly stepped around the corner. The Knights fell silent, but she just walked past them to her room.

Inside, Merlin waited for her to speak. She tended to the fire, then moved to sort her clothes.

‘I was cursed for flirting with a village boy. His name was Alex. I thought… I thought he loved me. And I loved him back.’ Merlin tensed up, but she didn’t turn.

‘But he was engaged to another, the woman that placed the curse. I thought she was joking, and kissed him.’ And he turned into a toad? Merlin looked over her shoulder, found the Princess seated at her dresser.

‘I had the woman killed, and the toad set free.’ The Witch made her way across to the dresser, unsure of whether to comfort.

‘True love doesn’t exist.’ Vivian stated, face cold but her eyes showing her pain. Merlin reached for the brush on the dresser, worked her fingers steadily into the Lady’s hair. She allowed it, the two of them settling for silence, until Merlin spoke up.

‘I know what it’s like, to fear love. To think… to be cursed with something.’ Vivian looked at her reflection in the mirror, met Merlin’s gaze.

‘Who was she?’ The words were surprising, Merlin almost fled, but Vivian’s gaze stayed firm.

‘Freya.’ She’d never admitted to this. Not even to Gaius, who had suspected something had happened.

‘And she died?’

‘I couldn’t save her. Not even with all my Magic.’ Merlin whispered, running the brush through the softest curls of blonde. She was startled when Vivian turned around, the Lady taking Merlin’s hand.

‘It is nice, to not have to worry that my curse might hurt you.’ And it was nice, to know that the Lady Vivian wasn’t going to judge her. She offered a crooked smile, and settled back into silence.

**

Lady Vivian complained for the entire day of riding, the Knights staying quiet as Arthur tried to convince her that it was be alright. Morgana’s mouth had tightened into a frown, probably because Vivian would not shut up, but Merlin found herself smiling. The woman chatted about everything, about all her many suitors and how she was excited for the curse to break.

‘My Lady, could you lower your tone for a moment?’ Sir Leon asked, making Merlin snort when Vivian’s eyes narrowed on him. She was probably about to scold him, when a shout was heard, and Merlin realised that they were about to be attacked.

Bandits.

Lady Vivian’s horse bolted, the woman flying back fast enough that Merlin only just had time to catch her with Magic, before she was being bucked from her own horse. The Knights were drawing swords, Morgana commanding her Magic, but Merlin’s instinct was to go to Vivian.

She had twigs in her hair, leaves covering her dress, and a quickly forming bruise on her cheekbone. Merlin helped her up, the Lady looking up at her miserably.

‘My bad luck will get us killed.’ She muttered, while the fight happened around them. Merlin had to agree, it probably was a bad idea to bring her.

With help from Merlin’s Magic, it did not take long for them to defeat the bandits. Arthur had evidently come to the conclusion that the curse was bad, snapped at them to make camp for the evening.

Vivian, with her horse gone, had none of her items with her. Sir Lancelot, far too noble, offered out his bedroll for her. Merlin placed it down on the ground, sorted her out a blanket that she could use. Her stuff had also gone, but she could deal with it.

She cooked for all of them, noted that Arthur’s anger towards Vivian was obvious enough that everyone had picked up on it. The Lady sat away from the Knights and the two Pendragons, knees tucked up to her chest and her back to them.

‘My Lady?’ She questioned, Vivian glancing up to her. Merlin took a seat, offered out a bowl of stew. It was nothing like she was used to, but the woman didn’t complain, ate quietly.

‘They hate me.’

‘They don’t know you.’ Merlin pointed out. With her, the Lady Vivian acted like an actual person.

‘You’re too kind to me, Merlin. Everyone around me gets hurt, I can’t…’ Those words hit too close to home, Merlin could remember asking Gaius if she was a monster. If it was her fault that everyone died around her.

‘You’re a good person, my Lady. Let me worry about keeping safe, about keeping you safe.’ She placed her hand over the Lady’s, like Sefa had done eight days prior.

‘Thank you, Merlin.’

**

Merlin woke up mid-way through the night, only to find Vivian’s head turned to her.

‘May I join you? It’s colder than I expected…’ Merlin agreed far too quickly, moved to the Lady’s side and tucked herself close. Small hands slid around her waist, and Merlin had to remind herself this was because of the cold. She tucked a blanket over them, then let herself fall back to sleep.

Waking up was pleasant, mostly because she was warm. Far too warm, there was a head tucked under her neck, soft hair tickling her nose. She smelled of herbs and flowers, of lavender and the bathing oils Merlin sometimes got gifted by Morgana. A leg was pressed between hers, and that warned Merlin that she needed to extract herself.

Luckily, none of the others were awake, a quick glance confirmed it. She moved away from Vivian’s warmth, the girl’s eyes fluttering open.

‘Merlin?’ Sleepy, rubbing her eyes gently and yawning, stretching out like a cat in the sun. Beautiful, Merlin thought, averting her eyes.

‘I’ll wake the others, my Lady.’

**

Merlin rode with Arthur. The King was easier to annoy if she was right next to him, she could sing off-tune or insult him, and the King could do very little about it. He did threat to kick her off the back of the horse, which had her falling silent. She didn’t fancy falling off another horse.

Vivian rode by herself, having stolen Morgana’s horse. The High Priestess had moved to Lancelot’s horse, the two comfy riding with each other. Much better than Merlin’s arrangement, Arthur barely left her any space.

Lunch was an opportunity for them to dismount, for Merlin to find that all their food rations had gone, and their waterskins were filled with sand, not water. Arthur’s face tensed, his eyes moving to Lady Vivian, who was staring at the piles of sand with an odd look on her face.

‘We should send her back to Camelot.’ Morgana stated, when they thought Lady Vivian was too far away. Merlin winced, but it went unnoticed, so she went to the cursed Lady instead.

‘Vivian?’ She’d forgotten her title, but the Lady turned anyway.

‘They’re right, Merlin. You’re going to starve to death at this rate.’ It didn’t make sense. She wasn’t a bad person. In fact, she was an incredible woman. Brave, stubborn, still fighting even after everything that had happened.

‘Then I’ll starve at your side.’ She snapped, and Vivian smiled. Actually smiled, small dimples that had Merlin’s heart skipping a beat.

‘I don’t deserve your loyalty, Merlin.’

She had a suspicion that it wasn’t loyalty.

**

It got worse. They were all hungry, with no food for the past two days of riding. Water had been slightly easier, they had managed to find a Lake, but it was getting close to nightfall and they still hadn't found a supply today.

Vivian no longer chatted. She stayed quiet, head bowed in shame as the others pointed out they would never make it to the Temple.

When they found a stream, it was decided that it would be the place for a camp for the night. Merlin tied the horses up, set about brushing them down. The Knights had placed their bedrolls down, drank from the stream quickly before anything could happen to it.

They fell asleep quickly, all apart from Merlin, who couldn’t shake the thoughts from her head. It didn’t help when Vivian rose up, moving away from the Camp.

Merlin knew she should give her some privacy, but she couldn’t help it. After what was definitely too long for the girl to just need a moment, Merlin rose from her jacket that she was sleeping on, stalked after the Princess.

She found her by the stream, seated with her feet in the water.

‘Vivian?’ The girl looked across, then shuffled across to make room for Merlin to sit down.

‘I’m going to take my horse and ride back for Camelot.’ She said it with tears in her eyes, and Merlin felt her heart break.

‘You don’t deserve this.’ She whispered, almost before she could stop herself, and the Princess startled. Her eyes widened, looking at Merlin in the darkness, and the Witch hesitated. She slowly offered out her hand, summoning her Magic forward to make a small butterfly, one that glowed in the dark.

‘It’s beautiful.’ Vivian murmured, fingers reaching for it. The butterfly flew up for a moment, before coming to rest on the back of her fingers.

She was beyond stunning. Hair loose, a tangled mess with bits of leaves in, her dress muddy at the hem and torn from her fall, but still fitting her form. But it wasn’t any of those things that drew Merlin’s attention, it was the look in her eyes when she stared at the butterfly. She could see it reflected in her eyes, the Magic between them pure and untainted, just like this moment.

‘Merlin?’ The Princess questioned, and the Witch realised she’d been staring. Blushing, she ducked her head away from her, but the Princess abandoned the butterfly in favour of catching Merlin’s chin before she could hide.

‘Oh Merlin…’ She knew. She could see it in Merlin’s eyes, and the Witch waited for the rejection. Instead, the Princess looked startled, before her expression shifted to curiosity. Those expressive eyes dropped to Merlin’s lips briefly, but then the fear came.

The curse.

No. Merlin refused to lose this moment, caught Vivian’s hand when she tried to pull it back. She brought the fingers to her lips, pressed a kiss to the tips of them.

‘Have faith, my Lady.’ She murmured, the Princess staring at her in shock.

‘Merlin, you’ll be turned…’ She cut her off by broaching the distance between them, until their lips were almost touching. Terrified, Vivian looked ready to flee, but Merlin just pressed their foreheads together.

‘Believe.’ Merlin whispered to her, waiting for permission. It came a moment later, the Lady hesitantly tilting her head to meet Merlin’s lips.

Soft. Gentle, unsure against hers, and Merlin moved her hand to cup the Lady’s cheek. The moment Vivian pulled back, Merlin’s heart sped up, but the Princess wasn’t leaving. She was just scanning Merlin’s face, like she expected her to vanish.

‘You’re still here.’ She whispered, and Merlin smiled to her.

‘What can I say, I’m a pain to get rid of.’ A mere moment later, the lips were back. Hungry, a hand at the back of her neck that pulled her in, demanded Merlin deepen the kiss. She did just that, let her tongue creep out and swallowed down the woman’s gasp.

‘I should have known that I was waiting for someone special.’ Vivian murmured, tracing her cheek when they pulled apart.

‘I’m glad you came to Camelot, Vivian.’ Merlin stated honestly. They both went tumbling back onto the ground when Vivian pounced, the two of them laughing as they hit the leaves.

The kiss was brilliant, full of energy and adoration and the freedom that the Princess had never had.

‘Wait.’ Merlin stated, the woman pulling back to peer down at her curiously.

‘How are we going to explain this to the others?’ Vivian just shrugged, leaned down to peck her lips.

‘I’ve never been anything but blunt.’

**

Merlin woke them with breakfast. The Knights didn’t ask, far too hungry to care, gulfing down the food with such a speed that Merlin worried it would come back up. Even Morgana scoffed it down, then went for seconds, the group too focused on their food to notice Merlin’s laughter. She moved back to Vivian’s side, the two of them waiting for the Knights to figure it out.

‘Wait…’ Gwaine stated, head rising.

‘How did you get food?’ Elyan questioned, taking another bite.

‘Is it rat?’ Leon added, poking at his stew.

‘I couldn’t care less.’ Percival mumbled, taking another mouthful.

‘We went Hunting.’ Vivian remarked, the crossbow by her side. The group looked very confused at that, Lancelot speaking up.

‘But the curse…’

‘Is broken.’ Vivian stated calmly. Arthur sat up sharply, Morgana’s attention snapping to Merlin.

‘You managed to break it?’ Merlin blushed, went to stammer out some sort of explanation, but Vivian was a lot blunter than that.

A hand was on her cheek, and Merlin was helpless. She turned to the Lady without hesitation, Vivian’s lips back against hers. Even if they’d spent most of the night kissing, it still shocked her that it felt so good, that it sent a thrill that raced down her spine every time.

‘Yes, she did.’ Vivian may have been addressing Morgana, but her eyes never left Merlin’s.

That curse might just be the best thing to happen to the both of them.


End file.
